Short Story.

[Saken]

Before I begin, let me just ask for feedback - I enjoy it, and love to know when I need to work on things/what you enjoy or what's confusing to you.

What I'm posting (right now) is old work that I hope to continue on this site.

Thinkin, not again- why should she? Her stomach, oh how it craved more, it wanted to be filled , she hadn't solved the hunger in so long, with the stupid d reams that had filled up her head with the thoughts that she was better but now, now here with the hunger so livid, so filling her up. She wasn't Saken, in fact, Saken was just another screaming voice in her head. “Not..Not enough..”*

The girl, still wavering, walked down the path, only to stop, staring in confusion, at a building that was a bath house. She didn't know how she knew what it was- that was a big shock to the small girl, but she did know there was something familer about it- it must have been something that Saken knew, something the other was used to./

*It hurt, for the moment, at least, that was good, was it not? The ragged skin, burning on her lips, was a sigh that she was alive an that she was not as far gone as she should have been, not that that was really an accomplishment. The anger, oh god that glorious feelin that was filling her, forcing her blood to boil an bubble within her veins, the sweet pain that would slide from her- oh the feeling that would arise as she placed her claws to the bared white flesh of her arm, so sweet an tender, so pain filled, that was what she wanted. She wanted/v the bitter release, the moments of bliss that came as pain rushed to her head, hiding all else. Would this moment give her that. She peered down at her arm, green eyes glittering with anger, but behind that anger was..what? She had nothing fuelin her, just needed the anger like a child needed it's mother. It was what she had an she embraced it, loved it, called it names. What to ​do, that was the question that raced in her mind. What. To. Do?

Of course, that question was not one that was so easily answered her question. The pain was just that, pain, an the ragged skin that seemed to cling to her lips, even though she bit an torn at it like an animal, trying to force herself into feeling something other than this..cursed sameness. It was her fault, was it not, that she lived in the constant state of fear, of horror, an that was all at herself, she had only herself to blame but, then again, who really cared? Was she not her, the person whom seemed to be together, was she not her, the fake person behind the mask of smiling faux-pain? She was just..That. Nothing, everything, ruin an whole. Perfection an forgery. It was that, but still, that didn't answer her question. The question that was forcing bile to rise up in her raw throat.

Nothing an no one could ever tell her that puking would one day get better, an nothing, not even the tail-tale sign of her stomach clenching, could fully warn her of the power that it had on her. Tears streamed from green an gold eyes, small noises gurgled out from her lips an her body heaved with violent shakes of pain, an still, the bile rose stinking her throat an making her gag, muscles clenching, trying to stop the sudden spray of noxious liquid from slightly parted lips. An then, as she lay there, trying not to sit in her own bile she came up with the answer. What. To. do. It was simply, truly, could one not see- or perhaps it was just the musing of a half-distraught mind, strung out on something that was close to drugs. Her body had no the proper nutrition to let her live an yet, she defied it, was she know paying the price?

The mind, what a funny thing. It could trick an tease, lead you on a wild goose-chase only to flop you down, laugh at all your failures. It could make you cry, or make you happy, force you into the best thing in the world or ruin you before you have the chance to beg- nay scream, for forgiveness. But that's not what she wanted, no, why ask for forgiveness when one did not deserve it, although it was in the nature of beings to want what they could not have. A monster deserved no forgiveness, an that was what she was – what she is, an what she always will be. She could blame others, perhaps those that had driven her so far over the edge, forced her into such a thing but, also, that was herself was it not? Her cold hearted pursuit of something she didn't deserve, that she di​d not own. She had, once again, fallin to the worse sin a being could have, Greed.

Greed, the sin of wanting what everyone else has, or perhaps that was envy- was she convinced of that? What would it matter, tack another sin onto the wagon, let them fall an bury her beneath the weight of. . .what? Was there someone who should be proud of having what she had? If so, let them be, let them see their own downfall, as she had an let them be, at the need, trapped within their own mind as they slowly poisoned themselves from the inside out. Oh, how much amusement this brought her, the rambling of herself as she died, for yes, she was dieing. True, her body was fine, whole, young, in good shape but..What of -Her?- Mentality wise, she was a mess, not that other hadn't been there before. The heart was another matter, for she could not claim to have one of those, or at least not one that seemed to work well enough to show her what was good, what was bad, but should the heart have to tell? Really, was she so low that she, herself, must pity an cry over the situation she had landed herself into? It was, her fault, yes, this was her fault- but she chose to die here, alone, leaning back against the wall, claws against her tender skin. Should she do it, just a quick slash an all the crimson blood would be out- but no, she wouldn't give Them the satisfaction, no. She would die, but they wouldn't know.

Why should they, was it not their fault, also? Who puts so much stress on a child, a child already ruined by others. Why bother- why care? She wanted to cry, almost, again. The prick of claws on skin, the laughter that mocked her, oh the horror - oh the stilted society they lived in.

She loved it. Every damned minute, ever bone-breaking, hatred filled moment.

This..Exercept was about one of my character, Saken, breaking gown- what went wrong with her. (Unedited.)